Done jeopardizing my health

The last month at the Times has been nuts! My schedule is crazy hectic and by the time I get home at the end of the day I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

I don't want to think about healthy foods to eat the next day or getting my booty on the treadmill. I just want to relax and sleep.

And this is exactly how I got into trouble my first year in Laredo. As a rookie reporter, I worked long hours, stopped running daily (a habit I had picked up my last year in college) and ate nothing but fast food. I gained 60 pounds in 2005, and eventually climbed my way up to 276. I can't let that happen again, especially after I've worked so hard to LOSE 60 pounds this year. But that's exactly the road I'm headed down now. I haven't worked out at all in three weeks and I've been eating nothing but fast food.

That ends now. I love my job, but I can't let it continue jeopardize my health. I have to learn to balance the two. So, my plan is to stop at the grocery store tonight to buy primal foods that are easy to make and take with me to work. I also plan to get my booty to CrossFit tomorrow, even if it kills me. I can't even remember the last time I went. And you know what that means? I am going to be SORE!

It's all good, though. My health is important. I want to be off these darn blood pressure pills. And let's not forget the fact that I still have clothes in my closet that need to be worn.

Fantastically great news!

I lost four pounds last week and am at 217 pounds, but that's not the great news. At a doctor's appointment today, the doctor said I can drop one of my blood pressure pills. Yes, that means I was taking two different pills to begin with, but it doesn't matter because now I'm only down to one. I'm getting back to healthy slowly, but surely.

Also, I was able to go for three miles on the treadmill Saturday night! I wasn't able to do it Sunday (only 2.5), but I'm still feeling good.

It's not as bad as predicted

I don't know what happened a while back when I stepped on the scale and it showed a 10-pound gain because it's not nearly that bad, and thank goodness!!! I couldn't get myself to get back on the scale Tuesday, so it wasn't until Wednesday that I found out the full extent of the damage of the past few weeks. I weighed in at 221 pounds. Already today I was down to 220. I've been back on the wagon since Tuesday (with the exception of the occasional sugar cookie), so that's good.

I am, however, sore again after missing out on CrossFit for two weeks. Another lesson learned: don't skip CrossFit because then you're going to feel that pain you felt the first week all over again.

Today I've decided I'm tired of feeling guilty about not sticking 100 percent to my diet, so I'm going to start blaming everything on my fiance. First of all, you should know that he can't be left alone to feed himself. When left alone, his diet consists of Wendy's, Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, Burger King and Popeye's. While I can't get him to eat meals of baked chicken and avocado with me, I figure that at the very least cooking for him myself at least cuts SOME calories and saves money. I can occasionally get him to eat baked chicken. Of course, he eats it with mashed potatoes and garlic bread, but I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, I can handle all of that well enough, I may steal a chicken nugget here or there, but I can handle making him a separate dinner or lunch. The part that makes me struggle is when he wants the sweet stuff. I luv me some sweets. And he is constantly begging for apple pie, ice cream and sugar cookies. Sugar cookies are his favorite and they are almost always in constant supply for him (How can I say no to that sweet face? Adorable!). I don't even really like sugar cookies (I'm a chocolate chip girl), but because they are sweet and available, I often find myself munching on one at some point in the day.

Now, do you see how this is his fault and not mine? If it were up to me, there would be no sugar cookies to steal. I don't even really like them! I know I'm not alone, right? It's hard to eat what's good for you when everyone else around you is eating what tastes good to them. When I first started losing weight, my doctor asked me what the hardest thing about it was. I didn't even have to think about it. The fiance is No. 1 on the list. He's always asking for fast food. And if it's not fast food, it's sweets.

I'd hurt him if he weren't so darn cute when he's begging.

I'm back

... and I have been a very, very bad girl. To the left you will see me falling off the wagon.

First, let me start right off with the excuses. I had a very busy time at work (it was Ask Us week for those who know LMT products) two weeks ago and then I went on vacation last week. Yea, I've been really bad. I ate tons of fast food of the worst kinds. Chili cheese fries at Six Flags? Check. Braum's brownie fudge sundae? Check. Cheddar's chicken fried steak? Check.

In a moment of self-evaluation, I have noticed a direct link between the amount of stress in my life and the amount of bad food I put in my mouth. And, oh boy, have I been stressed. So the first step is recognition, now I just need to learn to control the stress, right?

I'm terrified to step on a scale. Last week I had gained 10 pounds!!! Who knows where I'm at now.

So I'm back in town and less stressed, but I've yet to go to the grocery store and haven't gotten back on my game yet. The plan is to hit the store tonight and get back to controlling myself tomorrow. You'd better wish me luck.

I used to criticize people who lost a ton of weight and then gained it right back because, well, why would you go through all that work just to throw it away? But now I totally get it. It comes back so fast!

I'm going to force myself to get on the scale tomorrow so I can get the full assessment of the damage I have done. It's not going to be pretty. I may not make it to work because I'll be balled up on the floor. I know we have sick days, but is there such a thing as "I've gained so much weight after seven months of hard work that I'm too depressed to come to work" days? Do you think my boss will understand? Or should I just wait until Saturday when I have the entire weekend to recover? Decisions, decisions.