Done jeopardizing my health

The last month at the Times has been nuts! My schedule is crazy hectic and by the time I get home at the end of the day I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

I don't want to think about healthy foods to eat the next day or getting my booty on the treadmill. I just want to relax and sleep.

And this is exactly how I got into trouble my first year in Laredo. As a rookie reporter, I worked long hours, stopped running daily (a habit I had picked up my last year in college) and ate nothing but fast food. I gained 60 pounds in 2005, and eventually climbed my way up to 276. I can't let that happen again, especially after I've worked so hard to LOSE 60 pounds this year. But that's exactly the road I'm headed down now. I haven't worked out at all in three weeks and I've been eating nothing but fast food.

That ends now. I love my job, but I can't let it continue jeopardize my health. I have to learn to balance the two. So, my plan is to stop at the grocery store tonight to buy primal foods that are easy to make and take with me to work. I also plan to get my booty to CrossFit tomorrow, even if it kills me. I can't even remember the last time I went. And you know what that means? I am going to be SORE!

It's all good, though. My health is important. I want to be off these darn blood pressure pills. And let's not forget the fact that I still have clothes in my closet that need to be worn.

Fantastically great news!

I lost four pounds last week and am at 217 pounds, but that's not the great news. At a doctor's appointment today, the doctor said I can drop one of my blood pressure pills. Yes, that means I was taking two different pills to begin with, but it doesn't matter because now I'm only down to one. I'm getting back to healthy slowly, but surely.

Also, I was able to go for three miles on the treadmill Saturday night! I wasn't able to do it Sunday (only 2.5), but I'm still feeling good.

It's not as bad as predicted

I don't know what happened a while back when I stepped on the scale and it showed a 10-pound gain because it's not nearly that bad, and thank goodness!!! I couldn't get myself to get back on the scale Tuesday, so it wasn't until Wednesday that I found out the full extent of the damage of the past few weeks. I weighed in at 221 pounds. Already today I was down to 220. I've been back on the wagon since Tuesday (with the exception of the occasional sugar cookie), so that's good.

I am, however, sore again after missing out on CrossFit for two weeks. Another lesson learned: don't skip CrossFit because then you're going to feel that pain you felt the first week all over again.

Today I've decided I'm tired of feeling guilty about not sticking 100 percent to my diet, so I'm going to start blaming everything on my fiance. First of all, you should know that he can't be left alone to feed himself. When left alone, his diet consists of Wendy's, Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, Burger King and Popeye's. While I can't get him to eat meals of baked chicken and avocado with me, I figure that at the very least cooking for him myself at least cuts SOME calories and saves money. I can occasionally get him to eat baked chicken. Of course, he eats it with mashed potatoes and garlic bread, but I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, I can handle all of that well enough, I may steal a chicken nugget here or there, but I can handle making him a separate dinner or lunch. The part that makes me struggle is when he wants the sweet stuff. I luv me some sweets. And he is constantly begging for apple pie, ice cream and sugar cookies. Sugar cookies are his favorite and they are almost always in constant supply for him (How can I say no to that sweet face? Adorable!). I don't even really like sugar cookies (I'm a chocolate chip girl), but because they are sweet and available, I often find myself munching on one at some point in the day.

Now, do you see how this is his fault and not mine? If it were up to me, there would be no sugar cookies to steal. I don't even really like them! I know I'm not alone, right? It's hard to eat what's good for you when everyone else around you is eating what tastes good to them. When I first started losing weight, my doctor asked me what the hardest thing about it was. I didn't even have to think about it. The fiance is No. 1 on the list. He's always asking for fast food. And if it's not fast food, it's sweets.

I'd hurt him if he weren't so darn cute when he's begging.

I'm back

... and I have been a very, very bad girl. To the left you will see me falling off the wagon.

First, let me start right off with the excuses. I had a very busy time at work (it was Ask Us week for those who know LMT products) two weeks ago and then I went on vacation last week. Yea, I've been really bad. I ate tons of fast food of the worst kinds. Chili cheese fries at Six Flags? Check. Braum's brownie fudge sundae? Check. Cheddar's chicken fried steak? Check.

In a moment of self-evaluation, I have noticed a direct link between the amount of stress in my life and the amount of bad food I put in my mouth. And, oh boy, have I been stressed. So the first step is recognition, now I just need to learn to control the stress, right?

I'm terrified to step on a scale. Last week I had gained 10 pounds!!! Who knows where I'm at now.

So I'm back in town and less stressed, but I've yet to go to the grocery store and haven't gotten back on my game yet. The plan is to hit the store tonight and get back to controlling myself tomorrow. You'd better wish me luck.

I used to criticize people who lost a ton of weight and then gained it right back because, well, why would you go through all that work just to throw it away? But now I totally get it. It comes back so fast!

I'm going to force myself to get on the scale tomorrow so I can get the full assessment of the damage I have done. It's not going to be pretty. I may not make it to work because I'll be balled up on the floor. I know we have sick days, but is there such a thing as "I've gained so much weight after seven months of hard work that I'm too depressed to come to work" days? Do you think my boss will understand? Or should I just wait until Saturday when I have the entire weekend to recover? Decisions, decisions.

Falling off the wagon

It's been a rough week. First of all, bright and early Monday I found out I somehow gained two pounds over night. That's pretty darn frustrating. I was 216 on Sunday, and 218 on Monday. Grrr...

I exercised the entire weekend and stuck to my diet (with the exception of a sugar cookie or two). Still, there's no reason to gain TWO pounds over night.

To top it off, Monday was just a really bad day altogether. So, in true Julie fashion, I ate a bunch of bad stuff Monday night to make myself feel better. It didn't really work, but I'm not going to lie and say that frosty from Wendy's wasn't yummy.

I didn't even bother weighing myself today. I don't want to know how bad the damage was. I did get back on track and I'll weigh myself tomorrow and see where I'm at. Here's hoping there's improvement the rest of the week.

Day by day

To start things off, I lost a pound last week, which isn't bad. It isn't good, but it isn't bad. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted all weekend, so I can't complain. I've been better this week, but I started Monday off badly. It really doesn't help that my fiance eats so much junk. Still, I shouldn't use him as an excuse. I should be stronger. I was at 217 at the beginning of the week and I hope to be at 215 Monday.

But burgers are so tasty! And so is apple pie and ice cream. Hmm, I'm getting kind of hungry ... OK, now I know I need to shape up. I want to be healthy already. On the bright side, doing 50 bazillion (or so it feels like) squats no longer cripples me so much I can't walk, so there's improvement. I've found that the one area where I can keep up with everyone else at CrossFit is the strength training, so that gives me some confidence. Although, I think that just comes with being overweight. I naturally have more weight to carry around on a daily basis. (I have no scientific data to back that up; it's just the world according to Julie.)

A couple of weeks ago I got to interview a man who recently made the decision to change his lifestyle. Javier Guerra started out at 470 pounds in early June and lost 13 in the first few weeks. He says he has had a weight problem all of his life and has tried diets like Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, pills and shots. He's tired of being unhealthy and wants to shape up. I love his newfound determination. He's completely making his life over and his family supports him 100 percent.

This Sunday's Salud section will feature a story I wrote on Javier. It's the first of many. We hope to catch up with him every month and track his progress. I can't wait to see how Javier's story unfolds!

A rough week

OK, first the good news: Monday was my weigh-in day and I lost 10 pounds last week! The bad news is Monday night I had a chopped beef sandwich from Rudy's (I have no regrets; it was yummy!) and Tuesday I did no workout whatsoever and today I weighed in at 219, which is a pound up from Monday. I'm back on track though, and I'm sure I'll see a loss when Monday rolls around again.

Monday was my first "official" CrossFit workout. (Last week I did the intro sections, remember?) Anyway, nothing could have prepared me for that workout, except a year or more of additional intro sections. That was rough. And I wasn't expected to do what everyone else was doing, but it's in my nature to at least try. First, the warm-up is a mini-workout in itself. It consists of rowing, running, skipping, jumping, squatting, push ups, sit ups and an exercise they like to call "Superman." Yes, that is the JUST the warm-up.

Then, it was on to the strengthening portion of the show. We alternated between swinging a kettleball and pull ups. Obviously, my 219-pound self can't do a pull up, so I did ring rows (You basically lean back, hang on to two rings and pull yourself up). Nope, we're still not done. The last part was conditioning. We were supposed to do five rounds of eight squats with a heavy weight and then run 200 meters. They gave me a modified routine; I was supposed to walk instead of run. That helped, but it still killed me. I almost passed out afterward. And I know you're thinking I'm being dramatic, but, no, I really almost passed out afterward.

I did learn a valuable lesson about knowing my limits. My natural inclination is to want to be able to do what everyone else can do with little-to-no preparation or experience (My career as a pianist lasted about a month because I couldn't improve quickly enough). I'm not going to give up this time because I know I can do this and I already saw a drastic improvement from Monday to today. For example, I didn't feel like I was dying after the warm-up. I did the strengthening exercises (wall squats and more ring rows), taking only slightly longer than everyone else. And I did my modified workout (they ran 400 meters and rowed for 500; I walked and rowed 250 meters). It wasn't so bad. And no killing myself.

Overall, I'd say it was a good day. And one day I'll be able to do a pull up. I swear.

A great week ... and it's not even over

I cannot get over how much a slight change in my diet has affected my weight loss. I've always eaten fish; I've always eaten chicken. All I did was substitute the rice I usually eat with the meat and ate a ton of spinach and avocado. Oh, and I also eliminated sandwiches from my lunch and cook with butter instead of olive oil. As of this morning, I lost seven pounds this week. I'm told the weight loss will level off after a couple of weeks, but still, it feels good. And I'm definitely on track again for the month.

I wasn't able to do my 3 minutes straight on the treadmill last night, but I was able to do 2 minutes and I'll take what I can get. It still feels good to be running again.

More good news

First, I lost another pound, which means I've lost five so far this week. I've almost completely made up for the birthdays and stresses earlier in the month. Woot!

Second, my body has completely recovered from my introduction to CrossFit.

Third, the treadmill in the exercise room was actually fixed at some point and for the first time ever I was able to run (it's probably closer to a jog, but whatever) for three whole minutes last night!!! If you're even moderately athletic, you may not understand why that's so exciting, but keep in mind that seven months ago I was closer to 300 pounds than 250 (I'm now 223). Running a few steps at a time was pretty much it. Before last night the longest I could go was a minute and a half. I will admit, however, that last night I felt like I was dying afterward. I managed to hold out for another 10 minutes walking/running another minute and a half on the treadmill before calling it quits.

Am I going to go for it again tonight? Most definitely. I have had a taste of success and I like it. Plus, I am determined to get to week 3 of this workout. I will run a 5K this December, even if it kills me.

One last thing! Since I've joined a community of people looking to get healthy, I've learned that there are a ton of untold success stories in the community. The most recent one I've heard about is 8-year-old Ale. Check out Ale's story.

I want to hear more. If you've got a success story you'd like to share, e-mail me at jdaffern@lmtonline.com

Good news

I lost another two pounds! I'm at 224, so I just need to lose four more in the next week and a half to make my goal. I really think I can do it. Woot!

And I'm a lot less sore. I can walk again!!! I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But I am looking forward to getting on that elliptical tonight. I've got the momentum going, and I'm excited!

I am so very sore

First, I'm so excited because Stephanie Ibarra, also an LMT employee, has started her own weight loss blog. I love talking to other people about what they're doing to reach their goals, and Stephanie is definitely on her way to getting healthy.

I just finished Day 3 of CrossFit, thus ending my introduction to the program. I've never done so many squats in my life. My legs are so incredibly sore that just standing up is painful. Walking up the stairs to my apartment is ridiculous. Starting next week, I'll be doing the same workouts as everyone else and that is a terrifying thought. I've been watching them over the past three days and it's intimidating. I'm trying not to psyche myself out, though.

The good thing about it all is that I enjoy learning everything. I now know the correct way to squat, and, well, it hurts ... a lot. However, I like feeling challenged. And a part of me can't wait to start on the real workouts because I want to see if I can push myself to finish them.

AND I've lost two pounds this week! Woot! I was going over the calendar yesterday and I realized I have an extra week this month to lose my eight pounds. I know that losing the full eight pounds this month might be a stretch because of how up and down my weight was the first two weeks, but I hope to lose another two pounds by the end of the week and two more next week. If I can do that, I'll only be two pounds over my goal. I can live with that.

On a side note: My favorite meal of the moment: baked chicken with avocado ... so yummy!

Starting from scratch

OK, I said I needed a kick in the booty and I got one. After an unsuccessful weekend (I weighed in Monday at 228), I started doing CrossFit. And it was definitely the kick I needed. After doing way too many squats, my legs felt like Jell-O. And all I did was an INTRO session. This is going to be interesting.

And I already got in trouble! I was sent a form to log my food, so I dutifully noted my two cereal bars as snacks and a sandwich for lunch. It turns out that grains and processed foods are bad. Oops. So I loaded up on fruits, veggies, chicken and fish at the grocery store on my way home. I guess I'm being forced to do this a much healthier way.

So I finished the day off strong (I think) with chicken and spinach for dinner.

One bright spot of the day was chatting with a reader who found me on Facebook and is going to start walking around North Central Park for exercise. I love hearing your stories! They are great motivation and I truly believe there is power in numbers. We can encourage each other.

Let me know what you're doing. E-mail me at jdaffern@lmtonline.com or hunt me down at facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000956394362&ref=ts

Ups and Downs

I know, I know. I've been MIA. It's been a long week, and I can't say I'm sad it's almost over.

First of all, boot camp was a success. I lost five pounds over the weekend, and it actually wasn't that hard. Both Saturday and Sunday, I woke up and headed for North Central Park, where I walked/jogged 4.5 miles. I spent most of both afternoons swimming and was cleaning around the apartment the rest of the time. I figured as long as I was moving, I was being productive. I had a sandwich for lunch and salmon with cheesy brocolli and rice for dinner. I snacked on cereal bars and bananas and pretty much kept my calories to about 1,200.

The bad news is that the fiance's birthday was this week and the cake and pizza added to extra calories. Oh yea, and then I was in a wreck Tuesday and that has caused me not to exercise for most of the week because of neck pain.

So, yea, I've gained most of it back. As of this morning I'm at 228. I'm getting tired of this. I really have nobody to blame but myself. I just need to get focused. I'm thinking another boot camp is in order this weekend and the lack of birthdays for the rest of the month should help me keep the weight off this time around.

I can tell you that I'm definitely tired of losing these same few pounds.

Drastic measures are in order

I somehow gained two pounds this week even as I continue to work my booty off (40 minutes on the elliptical last night) and watch my calories. I may have been a tad lax with the calories, but I was still keeping them under the recommendation from livestrong.com, which is about 1,700. Months ago, I was keeping them under 1,500. I certainly shouldn't be GAINING weight, but I guess I need to find ways to cut back again.

In the meantime, I am planning a weekend boot camp. Drastic measures are in order to get my mojo back. I will either hit the treadmill or elliptical both days. Let's hope the treadmill is fixed by this weekend, otherwise I may go to the TAMIU rec. I'm going to walk around North Central Park both days; I'm going to hit the pool and swim laps and I'm going to do my step workout.

I plan on eating sandwiches (about 200 calories each), Gorton's Premium Grilled salmon (180 calories each if I remember correctly), baked chicken (about 200 calories), and cheesy rice and broccoli (150 calories). I'll probably throw in some cereal bars, bananas and string cheese to fill in some calories.

Wish me luck. I need a head-start on next week. Tuesday is the fiance's birthday, which means cake will be involved. That's never a good thing and we proved that last week on my birthday.

If you're reading this thinking you need to drop a few pounds, don't keep putting it off. Get moving today. I have absolutely no self-control, so if I can do it, anybody can. And if you have already started or are starting your own weight loss journey, shoot me an e-mail. I'd love to hear about your plan and how you're doing: jdaffern@lmtonline.com.

One pound at a time

I know you've been waiting on pins and needles, so I'll end your misery now. I did manage to lose one more pound last week and am now at 227. Now, I'm aiming for three pounds this week to make up the difference.

Tonight's my in-house workout. We'll see how that goes. The past two nights I had to use the elliptical because the treadmill is broken. It stinks, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I did cheat today and tried out the new spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A ... and it was totally worth it. It was so good, and now I'm going to have to fight the urge to have one every week.

Losing it ... again

I personally believe that any calories consumed on your birthday shouldn't count. Unfortunately, that's not how the world works.

The fiance took me to eat at Applebee's Tuesday, also known as my birthday, because I happen to love the Asiago Peppercorn Steak there and it's fewer than 400 calories. But something came over me when I saw the menu and I decided that to truly celebrate my birthday I should be able to eat whatever I want. We ordered the spinach and artichoke dip and it rocked. Then, I ordered a big cheeseburger, and it rocked. Then, I was full.

When I got back to work, a very sweet coworker had gotten me a cookie cake. How can a girl not have a piece of her own cookie cake? The fiance and I finished the day off at the movies and I was full enough to avoid the calorie-filled popcorn. However, when I got home I ate a Wienerschnitzel hot dog we imported from McAllen the day before and washed that down with birthday cake.

So, yea, the amount of calories I consumed at lunch alone is more than the amount of calories I eat on any typical day. It's ridiculous, and I can't believe I let it get that bad. I'm not going to lie, though. That dip and that burger were soooo good and I don't regret it.

When I stepped on the scale Wednesday, I got the full extent of the damage I had done. I had gained two of the three pounds back that I lost last week. Son of a motherless monkey breeder! You know what stinks more than losing weight the first time around? Losing weight the second time around.

So, I hit the treadmill Wednesday and Thursday, did my little cardio exercise in the apartment Friday night and ate food like this:


I stepped on the scale today and I'm back at 228. Whew! Now, I'm aiming to lose just one more pound this weekend and I'll call it a successful week. To kick things off I walked 2.5 miles around North Central Park today in the searing heat. I know what you're thinking: "That was a bad idea." And you're right. It was a horrible idea. I thought I was dying of suffocation.

On the bright side, I am now chillaxin in my apartment in my old, raggedy Adidas shorts from college. I don't know about you, but I think one of the best feelings in the world is putting on a piece of clothing that you couldn't wear just a few months ago. I've always loved these shorts and I don't care how raggedy these shorts get, I'm never throwing them out.

I don't know how but I did it

I couldn't weigh in Monday because I was out of town, but I stepped on the scale today and I did it! I lost the three pounds I needed to lose to be on track for the month of May.

The thing I don't understand is I barely did any exercise last week and I ate pizza, Wienerschnitzel, taquitos and cake over the weekend.

Maybe it's a birthday present from my body (today's my birthday). I mean there have been weeks where I consumed no more than 1,500 calories every day and worked out every day and didn't lose anything. I swear I don't understand the complexities of human body.

Or maybe tennis is just a really good workout. That's the only half-way cardio thing I did over the weekend ... and it lasted about 45 minutes. Whatever the case, I'm happy. Now all I have to worry about is June.

Dreading the weekend

OK, so I have totally slacked off this week on the exercise. I wasn't lying when I said the step night usually throws me off. I think I'm just going to hit the treadmill tonight. It's better than not doing anything at all.

In my defense, I spent Wednesday night rearranging my room. Judging from my sore arms, I think I got a little bit of a workout in.

I'm kind of excited about doing a workout I received via e-mail over the weekend. The one concern I have at this point is that the fiance and I may be leaving town. I'll have to squeeze in whatever exercise I can while I can.

The good news is that I haven't gained any wait in my laziness. The bad news is that my birthday is coming up next week and that inevitably means cake.

Getting past the monotomy

I was asked earlier today how I keep from getting bored during my workout. It's a good question, especially for me b/c I get distracted easily. First, I think it's good that I don't have a treadmill in my home b/c every second I'd be looking around the place imagining all the other things I could be doing.

When I first started working out, I stole the fiance's iPod b/c he wasn't using it anyway, and I downloaded a bunch of my favorite songs. There's nothing like getting your elliptical groove on to "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot. I have since graduated, however, to the treadmill and to audio books.

Audio books are especially nice on a treadmill where the machine is keeping me at a steady pace, so I don't have to worry about subconsciously slacking off. I also like to listen to them while I walk around North Central Park. I still prefer music when on the elliptical because music keeps me pumped up and gives me a beat.

If you're looking for a good audio book, I would suggest "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. I seriously could not stop listening to it. It's about racial relations in the Mississippi during the early 1960s, and that may seem lame to you (it did to me at first), but there were so many positive reviews on iTunes that I caved and gave it a shot. It totally sucked me in. I would be dying on the treadmill, but dreading the end of my workout because I wanted to hear what happened next.

Another great motivator for me is right in my closet. Half of my clothes I haven't been able to wear for years. And these are really cute clothes that deserve to be worn. At least once a week I'll try on a few things that are the next size down and that renews my determination. There's a certain skirt that I've always loved and I've decided that when I can fit into it, I'm going to dancing.

And I'll be honest, getting the motivation to head to the treadmill is rarely the issue. It's that third night that I'm scheduled to do my step workout when I lose my motivation. There's no great music involved and no stories to get lost in and I have to twist and turn and dip and push up and lunge and it stinks.

Last night was a step night. I decided to watch the first "Sex and the City" movie with the fiance instead, so now tonight is my step night.

Let's hope I don't come up with another excuse.

Technology rocks, weigh-in day

Nevermind the fact that I've had my Android phone a month now, I just found an application that will track how far I walk/run using GPS ... so excited!

I've heard of the Nike plus and the sensor in the shoe that connects to the iPod or whatever, but that's always sounded like a pain to me. With my phone, which is always with me anyway, I can just press "start activity" and it starts counting. Love it. I just found the app while I was at the office and did a test run around the building. It's .1 miles around in case you're wondering.

So it's Monday, and that's my "official" weigh-in day. I came in at 231 pounds. I weigh myself every day, but Monday is the day that counts and I track it at livestrong.com. I lost three pounds this week, which is more than my two-pound weekly goal, but I'm still down for the month. I've only lost five pounds this month and the goal is eight (two pounds a week for four weeks). This week I plan to be really good in hopes of losing those three pounds and getting back on track ... maybe my new app will help. My fiance's mom is coming into town this weekend, so we'll probably go for a few walks, which helps.

Success

I finally got my step workout on last night ... and I am determined to get back into my routine: one night of step followed by two nights on the treadmill. The step workout really isn't all that cardio-intensive. It concentrates more on the core. There are a lot of crunches, dips and lunges. It kills me.

The good news is that after one day of staying on track, I already lost that pesky pound. One more pound to go and I'll meet my goal for the week.

I'm actually excited to hit the treadmill tonight. I'm doing that whole couch-to-5K workout plan, but I've been on week 2 for like two months now, haha. Maybe next week I'll move on to week 3. I want to be ready to do the Jingle Bell 5K in December. I've got plenty of time.

Broken scale

The scale has to be broken. It's been stuck at 234 for more than a week now. Nevermind that I may not have been making the healthiest choices for the past two weeks (I had Whataburger last Sunday for the first time in months ... and it was good). Oh, and I haven't exercised in a week. Yikes, OK, maybe the scale's not broken.

And, yes, I just told you how much I weigh. I'm not proud of it. Actually, I am a little proud because at the end of 2009 I was 276 pounds. That's right, I have lost 42 pounds in less than six months. I still want that number to be much smaller. I've set my goal weight at 130. I don't know if that'll actually happen, but I know I at least want to hit 150 and be in the healthy range. I also would like to be off of these darn blood pressure meds. I'm 27 years old and I have hypertension. Whew, it feels kind of good getting all that off my chest.

It hasn't been exactly easy, but losing weight hasn't been all THAT hard, either. I mean, I'm not living on salads because, well, I'm not the biggest fan of salads. I actually eat real food. I've just found that if I incorporate more healthy foods into my diet and eliminate really fatty foods, I'll lose the weight. So when I make burgers at home, I eat them with cheesy rice and broccoli instead of fries. It's still not the healthiest meal, but it's certainly better than what I used to eat. I also eat ALL the time. I usually have a sandwich for lunch and I keep tons of snacks, like string cheese, apples, Special K and FiberPlus bars in my desk, so I rarely feel hungry.

My weekly goal is to lose 2 pounds, and most weeks I make it. Like I said, lately I've been off my game. Hopefully, I can get back on track. I plan to get back into my exercise routine tonight. A coworker and I snuck away for 30 minutes earlier today to walk around the mall, and now I'm getting motivated again.

Are you looking to lose weight or get more fit, too? Shoot me an e-mail, jdaffern@lmtonline.com, and tell me your story. I might share it on the website. And if you have any exercise tips, recipes that I can share, pass them on. We could all use the help!